Book Notes: The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck

Even though the title seems to imply that you should not care about anything, the actual underlying message of the book is:

Everyone cares about something. It is upto the individual to wisely choose what those things are.

It’s not about not giving a f*ck. It’s about choosing what to give a f*ck about.

Embrace the Uncomfortable

“The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. Paradoxically, the acceptance of ones negative experience is itself a positive experience.”

Pursuing the negatives generates the positives.

For example:

1. Pain in the gym improves your energy, physique and health.
2. Failures in work/school give you a better understanding of your shortcomings and help you improve yourself in the future.

The Problem with Happiness

Many of us are guilty of delayed gratification.

For example:

1. When I accomplish X, THEN I’ll be happy.
2. When I look like Y, THEN I’ll be happy.

This entire approach is the PROBLEM.

Happiness is not an ultimate end goal or a solvable equation. Instead, its an emotion, and emotions have evolved to be DIRECTIONS to our life compass.

Positive emotions are positive feedback for good behaviors and negative emotions serve as a CALL TO ACTION - telling you that something is not right, and needs to be addressed.

Problems never stop. They merely get exchanged and/or upgraded to better problems. HAPPINESS RESULTS FROM SOLVING THESE PROBLEMS. One should not suppress negative emotions for social and cultural reasons. To deny one’s negative emotions is to deny one’s many feedback mechanisms that help one solve their own problems.